Changes

I didn't leave Cleveland (my original placement) because I was unhappy at my school.  True, my school was a hard place to work and it was difficult to imagine going back there, but that wasn't the reason I started looking for a different school.  I changed schools because I wanted to live somewhere else, someplace I could have a life outside of school.  Living by myself in a small town like Cleveland last year made a difficult experience a truly depressing one.

But while a new school was of secondary importance to a change of scenery, the new work situation has been a great thing.  I feel like I'm actually teaching this year, like my students are actually learning.  On a more existential level, I come to school happy to see my students, rather than dreading them, and I come home with far more energy than last year.  Of course, it's a little hard to distinguish second-year improvements from new-school improvements.  No doubt the confidence bred of a year in the trenches has helped me, but I credit a lot of this year's improvements to being in an environment where I feel respected and appreciated.  There are perks that I feel guilty even mentioning to other MTC folk, because they illustrate how much wealthier my school is (one complimentary duty-free lunch for a month of perfect attendance by teachers, for example).  But that feeling of being respected stems much more from the school climate--my administration puts teachers first and makes decisions with our interests in mind.  My last school was chaotic and while we were dealing with a lower-income student population, that lack of structure stemmed from an administration that didn't (or didn't know how to) treat its teachers properly.

There are downsides to having switched schools, of course.  I felt horribly guilty last year once I'd made the decision to move, and while the guilt has subsided, it hasn't gone away.  I don't feel as though I deprived my students of a great teacher; my hindsight is clear enough to realize that my classes weren't much better--or any better, perhaps--than the status quo.  But I did deny my students and myself the chance to see me stick with them and do better on a second try.  Missing the chance to return to a school (while we're in the program) is also a drawback.  I don't envy my fellow second-years when they describe battling kids who they failed the year before, but I do envy their having a reputation.  I'll have to decide whether I want to teach next year (and if so, where) without any knowledge of what it's like to be an accepted, established figure.  

Still, I'm unequivocally glad I switched schools.  It's made me a happier person and, I suspect, a better teacher.